"Are You Happy?"

Whenever I travel abroad, the first words I learn in the language of the country I'm visiting are:

Are You Happy?

I've found that when I say these words to complete strangers in their native tongue, they almost invariably open right up. Why?

First, they're surprised that an aging white guy is trying to talk to them in their own language.

Second, they're amazed that a foreigner is directly asking them such a personal question.

And third, they think it's really funny. And then it's possible to have a little dialog with them.

I do this wherever I go: Vietnam, Morocco, China, Egypt, Burma, Peru, and India.

For example, I was just in Russia. My magic words there were: "Tay shahs leaf" (my phonetic spelling). When the person would say, "Da," (yes), I'd follow that up with: "Ya oychen shas leaf." (I'm really happy). Then they try to teach me a few more words. It seemed to open a few doors.

I was also just in Sweden. It's a national law there that Swedes aren't allowed to say that they are really happy (their joke), so it was fun to tease that out of them: "Are du yetta glad?" (again, my phonetic spelling). Lots of fun all around!

For example, on a boat to Vaxholm, one man responded to my question with a discussion of his sex life since the birth of his first child ("my wife is now more interested in the result of the sex, i.e, the child, than in what created it"). What was curious was that he explained this (in English) to me as well as to the ten Swedish women standing around me, and they all laughed.

Question: What are your special words to connect with people when you travel?

Comments

[Frank Topper]

From one version of Buddhism...
happiness = compassion + interdependence

PS: You are my travel hero, Roger.....

[Lewis Green]

Roger,

My experiences exactly regarding the Swedes. Very funny. And thank you for sharing your traveloque with us.

Wherever I go, I learn a few phrases in my host country's language, and once there I try to speak to my hosts as much as possible in their native tongue. But because my ear is deaf to languages, I mostly butcher all languages except English. Despite that, I find that before long, my friendships grow just because I make the effort.

[Becky Carroll]

Roger, this is a great idea. We absolutely love to travel to other countries and lived in Europe for 3 years. We always make it a point of learning these words: please, thank you, and cheers. Using nice manners in their native language always brings a smile - especially the "cheers" one along with a glass of wine/beer/native drink!

[Priscilla Palmer]

You have been tagged for The Personal Development List. (See my site for details), I would love for you to participate.

[Charles Meyrick]

I make sure to learn the native phrases for "Please", "Thank you", and "I'm sorry." Absolute essentials.
One phrase I've found makes a huge difference (and this need not been in the native language: "This is delicious!" People love it when foreigners appreciate their local dishes. And of course, the photographic negative, to be avoided at all costs, is, "Eeee-yew, you eat THAT?!?!"
Genuine appreciation of local cuisine opens a lot of doors. It can be kind of like passing a test... You accept their cooking, they accept you.

[Roger von Oech]

Frank: Thanks for the kind wishes and the happiness "formula."

Lewis: "I find that before long, my friendships grow just because I make the effort." Excellent advice, Lewis.

Becky: You're right: "please," "thank you," and "cheers" are vital expression. I'd also throw in: "hello" and "goodbye."

Priscilla: Well, thank you!

Charles: Always perceptive. What a delicious comment!

[Luc Debaisieux]

Roger,
I actually never thought about asking people that question. Excellent!

While traveling, I found out that simple humor sometimes helps break the ice and is a good way to engage conversation. I remember that when visiting Marrakesh, a friend of mine living there suggested to say "Ana Marrakshi" (I'm am from Marrakesh). This made many laugh as they clearly new from my (untanned) face, obvious French accent and smile that I could not be (really) serious. Then the shy/gentle reply (and conversation starter) was... "Oh... are you working here?". But I like "Are you happy?" better, really!

What a fantastic journey you have made!
Thank you for sharing.

[Mark McGuinness]

Great idea Roger. I've not tried such an imaginative conversation starter, but I always like to try some of the local language. If I can learn one or two words of the local dialect then it's fantastic to watch people's reactions hear a foreigner talking like a local. E.g. In Kyoto last year I discovered that the local word for 'thank you' is 'okini' (instead of the usual 'arigatou') - the taxi drivers and shop assitants found it hilarious to hear a gaijin using that word.

[vicky]

roger this is the great idea to learning these word or phrases ,but i don't think so that is going to help you in India where every 10 k.m the syyle and accent is changed

[Roger von Oech]

Luc: Just part of the conversation.

Mark: "Okini" for that. I'll use it in the next ryokan I stay in!

Vicky: There's that much variation? Wow.

[jen stumbles]

I love your idea! Normally when I go to other countries I learn how to say "I'm sorry I can't speak very well but.." which is apologetic and usually gets a laugh, but I love the idea of opening up dialogue with locals and finding a way to be human without justa "tourist"...great stuff

[Mary Richmond]

what a great way to let people know you're both interested and non threatening--i love it....probably wouldn't hurt to ask our english speaking acquaintances the same thing if you think about it.

[Twila Marie]

Simply splendid! I'm a very social person, who has seldom met a stranger, yet I'd never thought of using such a "conversation starter". I really can't think of any better way to get things off on the right foot. Go You!

[Clay Parker Jones]

Roger -

You oughta check out The Power of Babel by John McWhorter. It's great! Right on topic with this.

- Clay

[Mr John Joseph Sabrowski, Prussian, Free Born American, Duluthe Minn, 12/12 1944]

Please write to me back at the email above. My wife and I go over 40 years married to each other Oct 7, 07. Not far off. Please write me back soonest. We need help to move on in our life together. We do laugh a lot, but it is not about our sad days only. Thanks for this space in time for me to write to you.

[Roger von Oech]

Twila, Clay, and John: Good luck to you all!

[Mike Paahana]

no haven't been happy a while wish my gf would lighten up or leave have fantasy of her sister now that girl would make me happy hahahaha